How to Stop Comparing and Start Living

Have you ever scrolled through social media and felt a twinge of envy? Or perhaps you've caught yourself feeling superior to someone else? If so, you're not alone. We're all guilty of playing the Comparison Game, and it's one of the most dangerous relationship games we can engage in.

The Unconscious Game We Can't Stop Playing

Comparison is something we do almost without realizing it. Research shows that 10% of our thoughts involve some kind of comparison. That's 1 out of every 10 thoughts! We do it even when we walk into church. You compare your outfit to what someone else is wearing. During worship you compare your voice to someone you heard singing.

But why is this game so dangerous? Let's look at some Biblical examples to see how comparison can lead us down a destructive path.

When Comparison Turns Deadly: Biblical Examples

The Bible is full of stories where comparison leads to disastrous consequences. Take Cain and Abel, for instance. Genesis 4:8 tells us, "Now Cain said to his brother Abel, 'Let's go out to the field.' While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him." Cain's comparison of God's acceptance of their sacrifices led to the first murder in history.

We see similar patterns with other siblings in the Bible:

Esau and Jacob: Comparison led to attempted murder (Genesis 27:41)

Leah and Rachel: Comparison led to jealousy and despair (Genesis 30:1)

Mary and Martha: Comparison led to frustration and anger (Luke 10:40)

Even Jesus tells a parable about comparison in the story of the Prodigal Son. The older brother's comparison of his father's treatment of him versus his wayward brother led to bitterness and resentment (Luke 15:28-30).

The Two Modes of the Comparison Game

When we play the Comparison Game, we typically engage in one of two ways:

1. Upward Comparison

This is when we compare ourselves to someone we perceive as having a higher status, more wealth, or better qualities than us. It's rooted in the sin of envy. As Proverbs 14:30 warns us, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

2. Downward Comparison

This is when we look down on others, comparing ourselves to those we think we're superior to. It's rooted in the sin of pride. In 2 Corinthians 10:12, Paul cautions against this, saying, "We do not dare to compare ourselves with those who think they are very important. They use themselves to measure themselves, and they judge themselves by what they themselves are. This shows that they know nothing."

The Cure for the Comparison Game

In John 21:20-22, Jesus tells Peter about John, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me." This teaches us two crucial lessons:

1. Run Your Own Race

Don't worry about anyone else's journey. Stay focused on the unique path God has set for you. As Galatians 6:4 reminds us, "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."

2. Fix Your Focus on Jesus

Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should be comparing ourselves to Jesus. Our goal should be to become more like Him. Hebrews 12:1-2 encourages us to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."

Putting It Into Practice

So how can we apply these lessons to our daily lives? Here are some practical steps:

1. Recognize the comparison trap: When you catch yourself comparing, pause and redirect your thoughts.

2. Practice gratitude: Focus on the blessings in your own life rather than what others have.

3. Celebrate others' successes: Instead of feeling envious, genuinely rejoice in the good things happening to those around you.

4. Reflect on your unique purpose: Remember that God has a specific plan for your life that's different from anyone else's.

5. Spend time with Jesus: The more you focus on Christ, the less you'll be tempted to compare yourself to others.

Embrace the unique person God created you to be and run your own race with your eyes fixed firmly on Jesus. That's how we can cure the Comparison Game and start living the fulfilling life God intends for us.

Reflection:

1. In what areas of your life do you find yourself most often playing the Comparison Game?

2. How has comparison affected your relationships with others and your relationship with God?

3. What steps can you take to shift your focus from comparing yourself to others to focusing on Jesus?

4. How might your life change if you truly embraced the idea of "running your own race"?

Application:

This week, make a conscious effort to catch yourself when you start comparing. When you notice comparison thoughts, immediately redirect your focus to Jesus and the unique path He has set for you. Practice gratitude for your own gifts and blessings, rather than envying others or looking down on them.

Prayer:

God, forgive us for the times we've fallen into the trap of comparison. Help us to fix our eyes on Jesus and to run the race you've marked out for us with perseverance. Give us the strength to resist envy and pride, and instead fill us with contentment and joy in the unique way you've created us. May we honor you by embracing our own journey and encouraging others in theirs. In Jesus' name, Amen.