How to Stop Blaming and Start Leading
Often in a situation where everything seems to be going wrong, our first instinct is to point fingers. We've all been there. It's human nature to want to assign blame when things don't go our way. But what if I told you that playing the blame game is actually holding you back from being the leader you're meant to be?
Let’s dive into a game that we all play, but one that we desperately need to quit: The Blame Game. Let's look at how this game played out in the life of one of the Bible's greatest leaders and what we can learn from his mistakes.
Moses: A Leader Caught in the Blame Game
Moses was, in many ways, an exemplary leader. God chose him to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and into the Promised Land. Even when the people were too scared to enter the land God was giving them, Moses stuck with them through 40 years of wandering in the wilderness.
But even great leaders can fall into the trap of blame. In Numbers 20, we find Moses and the Israelites facing a familiar problem: no water. The people are complaining, and Moses is at his wit's end. God gives Moses clear instructions:
"The Lord said to Moses, 'Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water.'" (Numbers 20:7-8)
But Moses, frustrated and angry, doesn't follow God's instructions. Instead, he lashes out at the people:
"Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff." (Numbers 20:10-11)
Water came out, but at a cost. God tells Moses, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them." (Numbers 20:12)
The Hidden Pain Behind Blame
Moses' reaction might seem justified. After all, he'd been dealing with complaints for 40 years! But his blame game was hiding something deeper:
"Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain." — Brené Brown
Moses was hurting. He was grieving the loss of his sister Miriam, frustrated with the people's constant complaints, and now facing the reality that he wouldn't enter the Promised Land. Instead of addressing that pain, he discharged it onto others through blame.
The Cost of Playing the Blame Game
When we play the Blame Game, trying to make ourselves the winner in a no-win situation, everybody loses. Here's what I've learned:
Blame gives up our power to change.
Blame is the #1 predictor of failed relationships.
Blame leads to lower levels of happiness and job satisfaction.
People who blame things rarely change things.
How to Stop Playing the Blame Game
So how do we break free from this destructive cycle? The answer lies in a simple yet powerful shift. The only way to stop playing the Blame Game is to embrace your ability to assume responsibility.
This doesn't mean taking the blame for everything that goes wrong. It means focusing on the solution rather than the problem. It means asking, "What can I do to change this situation?" instead of "Whose fault is this?"
Learning from Joshua's Example
While Moses stumbled at the finish line, his successor Joshua shows us a different way. As Joshua prepared to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, God gave him this encouragement:
"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go." (Joshua 1:7)
Joshua embraced his responsibility and led the people forward. His leadership wasn't perfect, but it was enough to move them into the future God had planned for them.
The Rock That Sustains Us
You might be thinking, "This all sounds great, but how can I possibly take on that kind of responsibility?" The answer lies in the same source that sustained the Israelites in the wilderness. As Paul writes:
"For they drank from the spiritual rock that traveled with them, and that rock was Christ." (1 Corinthians 10:4 NLT)
Jesus himself is our sustaining presence. He offers us living water that can transform our desert of blame into a river of life and responsibility. As He said:
"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." (John 7:37-38)
Putting It Into Practice: Stepping Away from Blame
So how do we apply this in our daily lives? Here are some practical steps:
Recognize the blame game: Notice when you're tempted to point fingers.
Pause and reflect: Ask yourself, "What am I feeling beneath this blame?"
Take responsibility: Ask, "What can I do to improve this situation?"
Draw from the Rock: Turn to Jesus for strength and courage.
Lead by example: Show others how to move from blame to responsibility.
Remember, you can face the challenges before you because you are sustained by the Rock who goes with you. You can be strong and courageous, drawing from a well of strength that flows from within you but whose source is beyond you in the sustaining Rock of Christ.
It's time to stop playing the Blame Game. Embrace your ability to assume responsibility, even when your circumstances are not your fault, because you know that you do not bear that weight alone. Jesus promises to go with you, to sustain you, to bear your burdens, to give you life in a dry and weary land until you reach the destination God has promised to you. Step into that promise today.
Reflection:
1. In what areas of your life do you find yourself playing the Blame Game?
2. How might embracing responsibility, even in difficult circumstances, change your perspective and actions?
3. Where do you need to draw strength from Christ, our sustaining Rock, in your current situation?
4. How can you model courageous leadership in your sphere of influence?
Application:
Today, identify one area where you've been blaming others or circumstances. Instead of continuing this pattern, choose to take responsibility for your response to the situation. Ask God for the strength and courage to lead change, both in yourself and in your environment. Remember that Christ goes with you, providing the living water you need to flourish.
Prayer:
God, thank you for being our sustaining Rock in life's challenges. Forgive us for the times we've played the Blame Game instead of embracing responsibility. Help us to be strong and courageous leaders like Joshua, drawing strength from your presence. May we drink deeply from the living water Christ offers, allowing it to transform our hearts and flow through us to others. Guide us in assuming responsibility and leading positive change in our lives and communities. In Jesus' name, Amen.
