Transforming Relationships One Serve at a Time
Relationships are difficult to navigate. Maybe you’ve found yourself caught up in a game of emotional tug-of-war. Maybe you've been trying to change your partner, or you've fallen into the trap of playing the blame game. We all know these games can leave us feeling frustrated and disconnected. But what if there was a different game we could play – one where everybody wins?
The Games We Play
In our relationships, we often find ourselves playing games that create winners and losers. A game that requires a loser is a game that nobody wins. Think about it – when you "win" an argument with your spouse, what's your prize? A night on the couch? When you "win" against your child, do you really win if they end up resenting you?
The truth is, in relationships, the win is the relationship itself. We're not trying to make people lose; we're trying to create an environment where love can flourish and connections can deepen.
Introducing the Honor Game
So, what's the alternative to these lose-lose games? I'd like to introduce you to "The Honor Game." It's a game where, in one sense, you win by losing yourself. But if both people play, everybody wins.
The apostle Paul gives us the blueprint for this game in Romans 12:10: "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." This verse is our key to understanding how to play the Honor Game.
The Biblical Basis for Honor
Paul expands on this concept in Philippians 2:3-4, where he writes,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
But how do we do this? It seems counterintuitive to our natural instincts. That's where Jesus comes in. Paul continues in Philippians 2:5-7:
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage. Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
Jesus shows us the ultimate example of honoring others above ourselves. He was God incarnate, yet he never played the "God card." He could have said, "Do you know who you're dealing with here?" a million times, but he never did. Instead, he inverted the pyramid, putting himself at the bottom and serving all of mankind.
Out-Serve One Another
So how do we make this extremely practical? Try to out-serve one another for the win. It's a simple yet powerful way to play the Honor Game in everyday life.
Paul talks about this very thing in Galatians 5:13-14: "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
The Transformative Power of Honor
When we choose to play the Honor Game – to out-serve one another and treat others as more valuable than ourselves – something amazing happens. Over time, it stops being a conscious choice and starts becoming who we are. The Holy Spirit transforms us from the inside out, and we begin to see every person in our world as a precious child of God who deserves all of our honor.
Imagine how your relationships would change if everyone in your life tried to out-serve you every single day. Wouldn't you feel pretty special? When we all do this together, everybody wins, and everybody gets lifted up.
Putting It Into Practice
I challenge you to start playing the Honor Game in your relationships. Here are some practical steps you can take:
Memorize Romans 12:10: "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Look for opportunities to serve others, especially when it's inconvenient.
Treat everyone you meet as if they are the most honored person in the room.
When you're tempted to assert your own rights or importance, remember Jesus' example of humility.
Make it a game with your loved ones to see who can out-serve the other.
Remember, the Honor Game is countercultural. It goes against the challenging and brutal world we live in. But if we choose to play it, we have the power to transform our relationships and create a ripple effect of love and honor in our communities.
Reflection:
1. How have you seen "win-lose" games play out in your own relationships?
2. In what ways can you start practicing the "Honor Game" in your daily interactions?
3. How might your relationships change if you consistently chose to honor others above yourself?
4. What challenges do you anticipate in trying to "out-serve" others, and how can you overcome them?
Application:
This week, commit to playing the "Honor Game" in your relationships. Look for opportunities to serve others and treat them as more valuable than yourself. Start with small acts of service and build from there. Pay attention to how this shift in mindset affects your interactions and the overall quality of your relationships.
Prayer:
God, thank you for the example of Jesus, who humbled himself to serve us. Help me to follow his lead and learn to honor others above myself. Give me the strength and wisdom to out-serve those around me, transforming my relationships through your love. May my actions reflect your heart and bring glory to your name. In Jesus' name, Amen.
